(back)

ME AND LITTLE BILLY
vs.
THE WORLD

I've been listening to two tacky women
talk about child-support checks,
new wood paneling for the living room,
and disobedient children.
I've been waiting for them to finish
their extra-large pizzas and diet cokes.
I've been waiting for them to leave
so I can write about them
with a clear conscience.

According to their conversation,
it seems that "Little Billy"
has a problem with authority.
Well, if I had to go through adolescsnce
being called "Little Billy"
by anyone over five feet tall
I'd be pretty pissed off too.

I've been listening to two tacky women
and imagining their lives.
This is what I do durring lunch.
Well, this and doodle in the margins.
Is this normal?
Watching bits of people's lives
and feeling like I know their story?

I feel like a television theme song.
I feel like scenes from old episodes
playing while the credits roll.
And you know, sometimes
I feel like "Little Billy"

Treated like a financial burden
his entire life
while his mom says comforting things like:
"If you act like an adult
we'll treat you like an adult...
now Little Billy, run along and play."

Sometimes I feel like that kid.
as good as he's allowed to be
and sometimes I feel,
as I'm sure "Little Billy" must feel,
like jumpimg up on the buffet table
right here at Pizza Hut
and screaming at the top of my lungs:

"I HAVE A LOADED WEAPON
and a heart full of love!!!!!!"

And now that I've got your attention
here's my list of demands:

I want political prisoners freed.
I want an end to all nuclear testing
I want the president to give ME
one of those fucking fitness awards.
I want everyone in congress sterilized.

I want new rollerblades.
world peace,
and Lakers tickets.
I want truth, justice,
and the American pay-day.
I want diplomatioc immunity,
longer lunches,
and a presidential pardon
from high-school.

I want five dollars and fifteen cents
in unmarked bills.
AND DAMN IT...
I need a hug...

And if I don't get it in fifteen minutes or less...
I'll start killing hostages.